Break Me

As I enter into our message, Risk It!, our message series, Risk It!, the idea of Risk It!, a prayer series, is that I want to challenge you to pray some riskier prayers.

It's easy for us to pray the safe prayers, right? Lord, protect me. Lord, bless me. Be with me. You know, we like those generic prayers.

We often pray, you know, just to kind of, kind of, and then, you know, if God, if God answers those prayers, it's all good. If God doesn't, it's not really that bad, right? With these safe prayers, because we're safe about what we're praying for, because we know we don't lose a lot if God doesn't answer those prayers. But what if God wants us to pray bolder prayers? What if God wants to do something inside of us that's going to have to challenge us a little bit to pray outside of our box?

What if God wants to stretch us? What if God requires a little pain in the process? Yikes. That's the, that's not the kind of Christianity a lot of people want to hear, right? And last week, we talked about God search me, search us.

And we talked about God searching our hearts, really digging deep inside of us. Reveal anything inside of me that is wrong, and including my sin, and, and, and the things that, that I may not see. And that's a very dangerous, very risky prayer, because when you pray that, he starts revealing things to you, right? And he, and it allows him to come and, and, and look inside of us, and, and, and really change some things inside of us. And next week is probably going to be my favorite, and that's, Lord, send me.

Send me. God's got a calling for all of us, and he, and he, you know, sometimes he, we need to ask God to whatever it takes. Break me out of my box and send me somewhere. Send me. Whatever it is, send me.

But this week is probably the hardest to preach in all. And I'm going to warn you, some of you won't like this message, okay? I'm just going to lay that out front. And you may disagree with what I'm saying, or you may say, Lord, I'm not going to pray that, pastor, and I'm not going to do this, pastor, because it's not popular, because it does, it's not the feel good. God will always make your life better version of Christianity, because it's really not consistent.

And as a pastor, I take you through these teaching series to kind of help you grow. And I wouldn't be a good pastor if I told you, you know, your whole life is going to be perfect and honky-dory and everything's going to be okay, right? I wouldn't be doing that. So I want to help you grow. So I want to challenge you to pray one of the most risky prayers there is, and that is, Lord, break me.

Lord, shake my world up so that I can better be used by you. Some of you are like, well, I broke my nose once. Does that count? My car broke down. Does that count, you know?

When I was training for church planting, for those of you who don't know the term planting, meaning starting a church, planting a church, growing a church, I went with one of the networks I'm associated with called the ARC Church Planting Network. And I remember Chris Hodges, a popular pastor here in America, one of the fastest growing churches in America. You look at, you walk into his building, you're like, oh my gosh, I can't believe that God did this. You know, just the finger of God's on the place and just things are happening and moving. And, you know, all of us young church planters, church starters, church beginners, whatever you want to call us, are leaning over just listening to every word he has to say, you know, because we know we can just gain it.

Just, if we could just gain an ounce of wisdom from this man who took a church from 30 to, took a group of 30 people to 30,000 and more in multiple campuses, if we can gain, he says, this will, he says this, he said, this will be rewarding. But this will not be easy. In fact, it will be really hard. And I can promise you this one thing. God is going to break you in this process.

God is going to break you. God is going to do some things. He's going to shake your world. It's not going to be easy. So get ready in the spiritual.

Start getting those people around you to pray for you because it's not going to be easy. But he did say this, but you will never be closer to him and more dependent on him than, than, than any other time in your life doing what you're doing. And I couldn't imagine what pain did, what pain does with your relationship with God and where he wants to take you. So I'm going to take you to the text. If you'll turn with me to Mark.

I've got a lot of the stuff in your notes there and you can fill in the blanks and I've got some, some things there for you. You can also look to the screen if you want to. We've made it really easy for you. You've got a Bible somewhere, screen, phone, in your, in your lap or where, where have you. And there is this story.

And many of you may be familiar with this particular situation. There was a prostitute. She was full of shame. She was full of disgust. She was hated by women and abused by men.

But Jesus showed her respect and honor and dignity and loved her. And in Mark 14 3 it says, while Jesus was in Bethany reclining at the table in the home of Simon Deleper, a woman came with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume made of pure nard. She broke the jar and poured the perfume on his head. Now let me give you some context text here. People didn't.

Just have perfume in those days, okay? A lot of you came in and kind of put your perfume on. I put some cologne on this morning, you know, to smell good. And these days, people didn't have that. And if you had perfume, it was for one thing, to attract men, right?

And the perfume in that day was very expensive. Very expensive. In fact, some scholars say it would have been equivalent to about $20,000 in today's accounts. So it was like roughly a year's wages in that day. And here this woman, she takes this jar, this really, really expensive piece of whatever, and breaks it and pours it on Jesus.

Just pours it. And a lot of us, you know, when we read this scripture and we look at the people around that are questioning Jesus, because in the context of the scripture, they begin to question Jesus. What, you know, how could she do, or question the woman, how could she break this expensive, what could she have done that? And they begin to judge her for that. And we kind of look at that and we're like, how dare they do that?

That's Jesus. But if I were in that situation, I'd be thinking the same thing, right? I mean, you're breaking a, we could sell that and feed countless poor people. We could help plant a church. We could do whatever, you know, we could do all kinds of things with that, right?

Or we could just split it between ourselves, you know? I mean, you get 10, I get 10. We're good, you know? And people were thinking that, and how could she waste that? But what this represented is two things.

Her gift represented her past, leaving sinful life behind. And her gift represented her future. Savings, provision, everything that she ever had, everything that she could ever need or ever want, she poured it out that day. It's like a fisherman burning their boat. I'm giving it all to you, God.

She poured out the perfume, all of it. The expensive commodity, she poured it out all over Jesus. And Jesus, instead of ridiculing her for, as the other people were doing, looked at her and said, this is beautiful. This is absolutely beautiful. The good news is being preached.

The story is being told. And even today, we have this story. Not long after that, in the same book, Mark 14, 22, we see Jesus sitting at a table. And one of the sacraments we participate in, one of the few sacraments we participate in, baptism and communion, are our two major sacraments. And here, we see Jesus at the communion table, if we want to call it that.

As they were eating, Jesus took some bread and blessed it. And he broke it in pieces, and he gave it to his disciples, saying, take it for this is my body. And he took the cup of wine and gave thanks to God for it. And he gave it to them, and they drank from it. And he said to them, this is my blood, which confirms the covenant between God and his people.

It is poured out, that poured out, as a sacrifice for many. So he broke it as a representation of the bread that was broken. As the body, excuse me, the body that was broken. And he poured it out as a sacrifice. Broken and poured out.

Broken, poured out. And in Luke 22, 19, Jesus took the bread and he gave thanks and broke it. And he gave them saying, this is my body given for you. Do this in remembrance of me. Now, there's certain ways we can look at this scripture.

The first one is kind of the common one. We do this when we participate in communion, when we break bread. We do this in remembrance of Jesus Christ, the broken body, the broken bread. But another way we can look at this is not just a ritual or not just a remembrance. But it's a way of God telling you, you do this.

Jesus, you break your body for me. Come to the supper table. Participate. Be broken with me. He's inviting us in an invitation to come in and be broken with him.

Broken and fully dependent on God. God desires us and wants us to be fully dependent and broken on him in order for us to be used by him. Broken and poured out. Charles Spurgeon. Many may not know the story.

And some of you may not know who Charles Spurgeon is. We probably call him probably the English Billy Graham of the 19th century. But the story, there was a story that when he was beginning his ministry, a fire broke out in the music hall they were preaching in. And the balcony fell and people were scattered and running and things were happening. And this is during one of his preachers.

He's about 22 years old, believe it or not. 12,000 people in this auditorium. And the balcony falls and seven people were left dead and 28 injured. And the press was very negative. Just fighting.

There was a lot going on. That day, Charles almost left ministry. Left the ministry. And he said this, It might well seem that the ministry which promised to be so largely influential was silenced forever. And that act would never be erased from his mind.

Throughout ministry, throughout the years to come, he would never forget that moment. And he said this on his next time at the podium a few weeks later, I have gone to the very bottom of the mountains, as some of you know, in a night that never can be erased from my memory. But as far as my witness goes, I can say that the Lord is able to save unto the uttermost and in the last extremity. And he has been a good God to me. And God used this horrible event in his life to save the many countless souls through his ministry.

Because what happened was the press that was so negative and circulated throughout England and beyond ended up being an instrument that God used in the pain that he felt, in the loss that he experienced in the people that were there, that he wore the burden on his shoulder and the pain that he felt. Even himself, he was hospitalized for days and they didn't know he would even make it through. Because... He fell from the balcony that day, but God would use him to put him on the radar and eventually the world. And on his dying day, he died very young, 58 years old.

58 years old. I often wonder, you know, somebody 22 years old and having 12,000 people in one auditorium, wow, wow, man, that guy must have been anointed, powerful, you know, all these things. But 58 years old, a very short-lived life. Obviously, God was using him because he knew he'd be home early in his life, maybe. I don't know.

But I love what the papers said. They said this of him. He is a fine preacher. Some said he's a fine preacher. But of another, they said, we never noticed how he preaches, but we feel that God is great.

They didn't even know how he preached. They didn't know the influence he had, but they know that there's something about this God that he served. And through his brokenness. I've told this story many, many times. And some of you are going, oh, Leon, you're going to tell this story again.

But I'm a young preacher, so give me a break, okay? I don't have a lot of stories, all right? So, when God gave me the vision of Salt Church, for many reasons, I was very excited about the new adventure that God was calling me to. And in other ways, I didn't want to do it. I had other opportunities.

And over-agonizing in prayer, you know, just trying to figure out where God wanted me, and closed doors, and different pathways to possibly go, and whether it would be a dead end, and this one's a dead end, that one's a dead end. God just broke me one night. And I remember just laying and crying and just saying, God, just take it all. Take it all. God, break me.

Take it all. But I didn't realize what that really meant when I said, take it all. I thought, wow, God's just going to, you know, we're going to soar from here, right? I'm giving it all to you, God. Let's go.

Let's do this. It's all downhill from here, right? That's a nice picture of, you know, feel-good Christianity. But when I experienced what it really meant to start something, and the challenges that I would start something for God, and the challenges that I would face in order to get there, I never realized all the things that I would really have to sacrifice, being comfortable. And then when I lost financial support that I thought was there to start a church, and we stepped out, and then my son was diagnosed with special needs, and then I just quit my job.

And there was, right after that, I found out I wasn't going to have any kind of income at the time. And then parents were having health issues, and then I was stricken with a severe infection myself and was in the hospital two days. Well, it was probably more than that. Miranda's correcting me. When all this happened, I could have said, God, I'm going back to the ordinary.

But what that does, it gives us two choices. The first point I want to make, brokenness causes us to settle for the ordinary or to embrace extraordinary. We can either settle for the ordinary, we can be comfortable, we can live our lives, we can go, we can simply exist, or do we desire for more than that? Maybe something extraordinary. Friend of mine, I met, we, many of you know him, Dwayne Duvall, good friend of, that I, that I discipled and, and mentored in his faith for days and, days on in.

He was with us at the very beginning of the church. I remember the day we were in the, in the, in the workout room meeting for church. That was probably about this corner size here. We'd set up chairs and go in there and have church, and, and Dwayne wandered in one day and sat on the front with a big grin on his face and just enjoying the service. And from then and there, he was a, a vital part of our church getting off the ground and, and, and even getting to where we are now.

Um, great, great friend. And then we found out he had a tumor and it was a glioplastoma. And he would be beginning the journey of the rest of his, uh, um, to the sunset of his life, if you want to say it like that, to quote Reagan. And, uh, um, as we, as I spent those last days with, of his life, I saw a faith I'd never seen before in this man, a love for God that I'd never witnessed before in him, uh, scriptures on the wall, just all over the place. And I was there when, when, when they took his lifeless body away and, and, uh, how hard that was, but the faith I saw in the midst of his pain, in the midst of his struggles.

And what really did that mean? Did, did, did he live an ordinary life? Did he, you know, by this, this, this cancer, he could have easily gone and says, I give up God, I go back, whatever, you know, why would you inflict this pain? But he didn't do that. He embraced what he had as an instrument for God's glory.

I'd never seen that. I mean, it was just amazing what, what he, what he went through, you know, the things that he was going through, the pain he was facing and his, his unrelentless desire to, to be next, to, to just, experience God's presence, if I could put it in those words. I can't explain it. I could, I only just see it when I was there. Did he, when he passed away, um, last year, did his life count for nothing?

Well, when we were out on the beach and I got to see a few hundred surfers out on the beach and I got an opportunity to share the gospel. I saw those, those people out there and I have my Bible in hand and I'm, I'm sharing God with these people. I'm sharing the good news with these people about what Dwayne had and I could see the influence he had over all these people there. Some of them may have known he was a believer. Some of them may have not, but that vision was there in my heart a few years before then.

And I, and I, and I actually saw what I saw. And I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I feel like I'm happy getting And that happened through Dwayne and the amount of lives and the people that he touched and today it continues from eternity that's the crazy thing people are still being touched by him some of you are here today because you knew him and you you you saw a post on his Facebook or whatever about about his faith or or or he shared something with you on on the boardwalk or or at the beach or wherever it was and you're like wow what the what and he passed and you're here I want to see what he had what got him through that that brokenness he he didn't settle for just ordinary and what I loved about his vigor and his excitement even in the midst of his pain he wanted people to know so badly why don't people get it why don't they get this Jesus that that fills my heart and fills my life so much that makes me complete even in the midst of my hurt and my brokenness and extraordinarily his life he's with the Lord Lord now bless praise God he's in a better place but man his life is echoing is echoing throughout eternity another thing we cried together on on many occasions as well you know definitely when he was going through his sickness it he he never was closer to God during that time and we never were connected greater than when he was going through that that that period of his life that that period of brokenness so it leads me to my second point brokenness deeply connects us we can impress people with our strengths but connect through weaknesses we connect through brokenness Dr. Henry Cloud said this you know he talked about tears and how we shed tears in our brokenness and things like that why do we tear through our eyes we could tear anywhere we could tear through our ears we could tear through other places I mean who knows you know God could have been creative with that but he chose but he chose our eyes but he chose our eyes why is that so that we can see each other in our brokenness so that we can experience and connect together when we're going through pain and we're never closer to God than when we are in our brokenness when you pray God break me when you pray God break me He's going to break you He's going to connect you He's going to grow you deeper He's going to give you the option ordinary extraordinary He's going to you may experience through rejection you may experience it through some kind of failure you may experience it through some kind of pain you may experience it through some kind of pain you may experience it through some kind of hurt some kind of misrepresentation whatever it may be you're going to experience it but here's what thirdly it does brokenness equips us more effectively for ministry brokenness equips us more effectively for ministry your most effective ministry will come out of your deepest hurt when you're broken to the point where God is all I can is all I have he's going to use you God just use me God just do whatever God I give it all to you God he's going to do it he's going to use you he's going to break you he's going to stretch you he's going to push you but he's going to use you more effectively and our mission is is to reach people with the life giving message of Jesus so that we may become fully devoted followers that fully devoted followers part is the part we kind of like to shy over a little bit because you know I don't mind you know I want the life giving part Lord I want the message of hope I want the message of truth I want the gospel message I want this good news that you give me but this whole following you I don't know about this part of it I don't want to go that direction because I know because I know what it would say so many of us settle for partially devoted we're partially devoted followers of Christ I take the good stuff Lord but I won't follow that path but you know but God didn't call us that God called us to that He actually called us to come and die come and die come with me take up your cross this is the part we don't want to talk about a whole lot take up your cross follow me give it all to me don't give parts of it don't get don't just take the good parts we like what we get from the Father's table but when it comes to the Father Himself and all that He requires it's a little harder God break me reveal to me the things that are wrong inside of me break me of my pride break me of my love for this world break me of myself break me of everything Lord so that I can be better used by you man this must be like really hitting some people because it's so quiet but this is real Christianity advanced Christianity isn't going and living in a in a monastery somewhere or go off even go off somewhere to a foreign country and be a missionary it's much more than that I grew up and people said advanced Christianity is when you when you wear long skirts and buns in your hair and don't wear makeup right but that's not that's not advanced Christianity advanced Christianity if you really want to grow if you really want to know God more if you really you've got to live in a sacrificial with a sacrificial heart and a sacrificial mindset Lord take this away from me so I can be better used by you because God I love you that much you love me so much that you gave your son for me but to ask God to break me wow that's the truest picture of salvation the truest picture of salvation take my life take this bread he offered his life that's salvation that's what that means that I offered my life I gave it all for you and I'm offering you this bread in fact it's scripture and this is just a side note people were were complaining to Jesus because he wasn't giving them the bread they wanted or making miracles happen before them and he said you know you want a miracle but unless you eat my flesh and drink my blood you cannot be my follower man the people were like what is this cannibalism you know like what's going on here this is crazy but what he's saying unless you you follow me and be broken you cannot you Experience a full life. Because you're going to be going through this life. Give me a miracle here.

Give me a miracle there, Lord. Bless me with this. Bless me with that. Make my life better here. Make my marriage better here.

Make my business better here. And do all this. And you're going to walk and you're just going to be living on these high lines. And then when the low happens, you're out. You're done.

And you're back to depression mode, if you want to call it that. And I'm way off my notes right now. If you can't tell. Because I think this is so important for you to understand. To be truly devoted followers of Christ.

I had a conversation with a friend of mine. This isn't even in my notes. I just got to share these things. We were both preacher's kids growing up. Played music together.

I was probably more the black sheep than he was. He was the good preacher's kid, you know. Did everything right, you know. That I felt, you know, maybe I'm not holy enough to hang out with this guy, right. And I had a conversation with him the other day.

Just randomly we connected on Facebook. And he kind of sent me a private message. And basically told me, I don't believe in the big guy up in the sky anymore. And I was like, why in the world? And he just, I mean, he just kept throwing.

I was just having a casual conversation. Hey, God, you still playing bass? Well, you know, you're talking. You're talking this conversation. You're like, hey, man, what's going on, you know?

Buddy, how's it doing? It's going good, man. I don't believe in God anymore. Or I don't believe God the way you are. I know this is hard to handle.

And I'm like, no, this isn't hard to handle. This is part of being a pastor. You know. We hear it all the time. You must have not been to Virginia Beach.

He's like, no, this is hard to handle. You know, I was in the church box forever. And then I was like, why in the world would turn a guy like this who just had this love for God and just took him for everything that was in him? Why would he pull away just like that? What happened?

And then the red flag came in. He says, I can't have children. And any God who would take my ability to have children away from me, I can't believe in that type of God. Because he wasn't broken. He wasn't completely surrendered.

That I'll take the feel-good Christianity when God's doing the right things in my life. I'll take Jesus. But when Jesus says, come and die, to take up my cross, he talked more about those things than he did really eternal life. Because there was hope for it. There is hope for eternal life.

But in this, there is brokenness. And this, I know this is challenging. That's why I said this is a hard mess. Some of you are like already writing me off. But until we are completely broken, we can't experience the fullness, the wholeness, the beauty, the glory of knowing the person of Jesus.

Not just the ideas around Jesus, but the person himself. The one who was completely broken. Who was rejected. Was despised by his own people. And cried in a garden the night before he was to be crucified.

Blood running down his face. Until we are broken. He's not calling us to give a partial life. He's calling us to give our whole life. And I challenge you today.

God, what do you want to do in me? You're asking this. What do you want to do for me? Where are you going to take me next? How are you going to make this happen?

Lord, I know you've got a purpose. And he has a purpose. But you've got to be willing to give it all. Break me, Lord. Do I want to settle for the ordinary?

Do you want to settle for the ordinary? It's your choice. Go through life. You know, avoid all the obstacles. Do your thing.

But God's calling us to an extraordinary life. He wants to use you. And I can promise you, even in the pain. If you give it all to God. Even in the pain.

Even in the stretching. Even in the hurt. Even in the times where you have no clue where to go. What to do next. He will do that for you.

And he'll give you fullness. And a purpose. I was excited to run into a friend yesterday at the mall. And this is in closing. If the band wants to come up and get ready.

In closing, I just want to. I ran into a friend yesterday. And I was so excited to talk to him. I hadn't talked to him in a few years. And he shared with me.

He just retired from the military. And he's been in ministry for a while. Kind of part time. And he had an opportunity to go into full time ministry. Kind of a comfortable job salary.

And a campus. He thought that's what he was going to do. But the Lord challenged him. Said. I want you to.

To focus on me for a little while. Because I've got something else for you. So he's pulled back from everything. They've reduced their life. They're living.

In a friend's house right now. Retired. Because he's asked God. To break him. I can live.

We can live. I can live the comfortable. You know life. I can live. And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with.

I want you to be comfortable. I want you to be blessed. I want you to have. You know. Enjoy your family.

And I want you to live. Good life. But I'm telling you. Just live in a good life. This is just a small piece of eternity.

This is just a little. A little time. A little time we have here on earth. And earth. And as the gladiator.

You know. The famous gladiator. He says. What you do in life. Echoes through eternity.

It does. And we don't have a lot of time in this life. And we want it to echo through eternity. So what is God calling you to do? My challenge to you today.

Is what is God calling you to break? Out of. Out of your life, out of your situation, are you holding on to something too tightly? Are you holding on to, maybe it's tangible things, maybe it's comfort, and God's been trying to pull you to something, you're just like, I'm not ready to go there, God, I'm not ready to go there. Well, maybe it's time to start going there, and watch what God does, and how He blesses you in the process.

Lord Jesus, I pray, God, that you would break us, that you would break us, Lord, that we would be willing to surrender, to surrender to you, God, the past, the future, and as we're walking in the gap now, Lord Jesus, of this present moment, Lord, that we would continue to be, as you say in your scripture, a sacrifice of praise, a sacrifice of worship, that we would be fully devoted followers for you, Lord Jesus, fully devoted followers for you. Help us, Lord, those of us who have been walking with you for a long time, have known you for a long time, to not just settle for just ordinary Christianity, but extraordinary Christianity, Lord, where we can be used by you in so many ways and things beyond what we can think or imagine, because it is the power of God that works inside of us to do the impossible. Do we want to live impossible lives is the question, Lord. Lord, so we're praying today, somebody here in this place right now is praying that, Lord, I want to be used for the impossible. I want to be used for big things, Lord Jesus.

Great, greater things are on the way, Lord, so break me, God. Pray that with me right now. Pray that with me all over the place. Break me, Lord. Break me, Lord.

Break me, Lord. Take me to the next level, Lord. Make me your child. Make me close. I want to walk closer to you.

I want to know you more. I want to walk. I want one foot stepping in eternity right now, Lord Jesus. I don't want to walk on this side of eternity. I want to walk in both sides, Lord.

I want to walk in and out of your purpose, Lord Jesus, because you have a greater plan for me than the plan that I had for myself, Lord. You've got something greater for me, and you want to use me in extraordinary, extraordinary ways. Others of you here today, you don't know this Jesus, and maybe this is kind of a weird message for you, but in the same spirit of worship with all eyes and all his clothes, if there's somebody here today, you're like, I have never, I have never thought about Jesus as a personal Savior. I've never thought of Jesus as a personal Savior. You can know him today.

You can know him because Jesus was broken. You can know him because Jesus was broken on the cross. He paid it all. And it's not about religion, world religions, about being good enough, about wearing the right clothes, about having the right things, and being around the right people. It's so much more than that because that's boring, to be honest.

And God is so much better and so much greater than that. It's about knowing who he is, and knowing that he loves you, and he wants a life, a life, a message is life-giving. If that's you today, if that's you today, I'm not going to embarrass you. I just want to pray for you. Could you just lift your hand up?

I just want to pray for you now. Just lift it. Just say, I'm in, God. I am in, Jesus. I want a relationship with you, and I give it all to you.

Amen. I see that hand. Anybody else? Come on, come on, give it to Jesus today. Give your life to Jesus.

Be broken. Be broken for Him. Give it all to Him. Nothing else works. Nothing else matters.

Give it to Him today. Come on, come on. Eternity is hanging. Eternity is hanging. Amen.