Faith, Focus, and Identity

Good morning, Salt Church. How are you guys this morning? You guys are all beautiful. I can, actually. I have decent enough vision.

I, as Pastor Leon just mentioned, today is my final Sunday here with you guys. And over the last two years, it has been the most amazing experience, being able to be the Creative Arts Director here at Salt Church. Before I go any further, I want to, did he just leave the room? Did Pastor Leon just leave the room? I was going to shout Pastor Leon out, but we'll do it anyway, whether he's in here or not.

I want to give honor where it's due, and Pastor Leon does such a phenomenal job leading this church. I also want to call out the other leadership, other members of staff here. Christina, thank you for everything that you do. You're amazing. I don't think, is Emma in here?

Is she doing the kids? She doing kids? Awesome. Yeah, she's a new kids director here, doing absolutely phenomenal. Just wanted to shout her out, as well as Becky.

Thank you for all that you guys do. It has been such a pleasure serving alongside you guys over these last few years. I also want to shout out the production team and the worship teams that I have had. It's been an absolute honor and privilege to lead you guys over the last two years alongside George. I seriously couldn't have done it without you over these last two years.

Thank you for supporting me in every way, even outside of church. You guys are amazing. Production team, worship team, you guys are amazing. They put everything, like, you see it, you hear it, they did it. So, phenomenal people, such hard-working individuals.

Now, that's the easy part's out of the way. Like Pastor Leon just said, today is my final morning, my final day here with you guys. And I wanted to tell you why. I wanted to be honest, I wanted to be vulnerable, I wanted to be raw. Because like Pastor Leon said, this is not a bad break, there's no bad blood.

This is clean, this is only God. Like, only God could do everything that I'm about to share with you guys. Like Pastor Leon said, I really wanted to stay. I had prayed about it, and it really was what I wanted to do. I wanted to take a little bit of a break and then come back after a week or two and just keep going full steam ahead.

But, as we're about to get into... God had other plans for me. Over the last six months, I have struggled with my faith. Right off the bat, I got to a point in December where I looked at Pastor Leon right before Christmas and said, honestly, man, I don't know if I believe this anymore. I know I do this every single day, every single week, week in, week out.

I lead worship for the church, but man, I don't know if I believe it anymore. And it's hard when you are at the front of a church leading people, asking them to participate in something you're not even sure you believe in. If you were here over the summer, you heard the messages that I spoke, I preached about mental health, about kind of taking your mind captive and making your thoughts obedient to Christ and all of those great things that we hear Paul talk about. So, if you were here, you know that I have, for the majority of my life, struggled with mental health, depression, anxiety, ADHD, you name it. I've probably struggled with it on the mental health side of everything.

And I got to a spot where I was asking God continually, can you provide some sort of relief? Can you provide something? Just let me know that you're there. Just, I need something. I don't know how much longer I can do this.

I just need something. But it felt like he was silent. It felt like there was just radio silence coming back to every prayer that I threw up, to every time I read Scripture and tried to recite and quote Scripture back to myself and speak the truth back to myself. It felt like there was nothing but silence. So, I looked at Pastor Leon and I said, how am I supposed to trust that God is as good as he says he is, that he's the savior that he claims to be, when I'm still dealing with this thing that I've been asking him to take away or relieve for the last 10 years?

I said, how am I supposed to say that we serve a good God, that we serve a saving God, when I haven't seen him do it for myself? And he looked at me, and he said, take time. You've got a week. If you need more than a week, take it. Don't worry about coming back.

Just take time to figure out what you need. So, I did. After Christmas Eve service, packed up my car, drove down to Florida to see my family. And these thoughts and these questions are... Just going through my head, the entire drive down there of how is God so good if he's letting this and that and the other thing happen.

And if you have ever been to Jacksonville, Florida, which is where my family is from, or it's where they're living right now, I should say. There's this really big bridge that you go over, you know, you go over a river, you're on this bridge, this beautiful bridge. And I prefer doing overnight drives, so I'm pulling in to Jacksonville around 530 in the morning, the sun's starting to come up, going over this bridge, it's beautiful. I just hear three words, Drew, come home. Now all of you know me as Andrew, because that's how I like to be referred to, referred by, I don't like Drew.

Nobody calls me Drew, not, or rather, there's not many people who I allow to call me Drew, I should say. My mom, very rarely, my dad, very rarely, my siblings, never. I do not like Drew, except from very specific few people. So hearing Drew come home in my head was weird, because that's not something I'm used to. It's not a voice I was used to hearing in my head.

So I'm driving over this bridge, Sunday morning, 530, sun is shining, sun is coming up, and Drew, come home. So I'm like, alright, maybe that's part of what Pastor Leon wants me to figure out. Maybe he knows what this Drew come home thing is. I don't think he did. I don't think he did.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think he did. I think he just wanted to see me get to a healthier spot. So I do what every smart person does. And the first three days of my trip there, so Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, I avoid it. Completely avoid everything that Pastor Leon challenged me with.

Completely avoid this Drew, please come home that I'm hearing in my head. And I make my day as busy as I can on Monday, and on Tuesday, and on Wednesday, and then Thursday, life kind of starts to get back to normal. My sisters are going back to work. My mom is out doing things. Oh, she was buying a car, actually.

That's what she was doing. And I'm sitting there home alone for a couple of hours, and I'm like, you know what? Let me look into this Drew come home thing. So what do you do when you think you're hearing from God? You pick up your Bible.

And usually, you actually look for what the words might say. Not me. I picked up my Bible and threw it on my bed and said, well, God's going to make it happen. God's going to, God, hey, I've never seen it actually work like the way that I'm about to tell you. But I promise you, this is what happened.

Throw my Bible down. And it's Luke 15. If you don't know Luke 15 off the top of your head, there's three parables. The first one is about a lost sheep. The second one is about a lost coin.

And the third one is the prodigal son. We're going to read through this story in just a second, but while I'm reading through Luke 15, it's just constantly, Drew, come home. Drew, come home. Now in my mind, I've always equated home to wherever my family is, wherever my mom is specifically. Wherever mom is, that's home.

So I'm hearing Drew come home and I'm like, man, maybe that means I have to move back to Jacksonville. I don't want to do that. Like I told you guys, I wanted to go there, figure all my faith out, and then come back and just keep going strong. That was my plan. So that Thursday, I'm sitting there, keep hearing Drew come home, and I make the connection that maybe it's supposed to be back to Jacksonville.

And then Friday, I get a text from one of my sister's professors. He's just, hey, let's go, let's go grab coffee. All right, cool. I got you. Keep in mind, I'm on vacation.

He goes, cool. Let's meet tomorrow morning, 6 a.m. at a coffee shop 45 minutes away from your house. I don't wake up before noon if I don't have to.

Like, I don't like waking up early. And I'm on vacation, so I'm trying to sleep a little bit. But I'm like, you know what? God, you're showing me this Luke 15 thing. Maybe this is you too.

So I go, get coffee. And throughout this coffee, he keeps referring to Israel. And towards the end of this coffee, he calls me Israel in the wilderness. And then, I haven't told anybody this yet. He goes, whatever God told you on Thursday, you have to do.

Well, what did God tell me on Thursday? But as I'm looking through Luke 15, Drew, please come home. So I'm like, okay. It's a little bit weird. But I text my mom.

Hey, I think I might maybe have to supposed to be moving back to Jacksonville. She goes, okay, well, let's talk about it. I said, okay, we'll talk about it after church tomorrow. If this isn't God, I don't know what is. I walk into church that Sunday morning, and up on their big LED screen, the title of their sermon series to open up 2023 is called Homecoming.

And God's not talking to me? And then. One guess, where do you think he preached from that day? Luke 15, the prodigal son, who left his home to find the blessing, to realize that the blessing was still at home. But we're not even done yet.

Like, this keeps going. We're going to take a break for just a second with this story. We're going to read the prodigal son. So I want to give you guys a little bit of context to what's going on when I keep referring to Luke 15, if you haven't heard the story before, or even if you had a nice little refresher. So Luke 15, I don't have it on the screens.

This is just for you guys to listen. I want this morning to be more introspective. Let the Holy Spirit talk to you. Don't worry about writing things down unless you want to. Don't worry about reading things.

I only have scriptures up there. Just really let this resonate with the Holy Spirit. So Luke 15, 11 to 24 says, Jesus continued, There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, Father, give me my share of the estate. So he divided his property between them.

Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country, and there squandered his wealth in the wild. After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in the whole country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. I love, this is kind of funny. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

He got so hungry, he got to such a place of desperation, that the pig food looked good. The pig food looked good. When he came to his senses, I love how it phrases that, when he came to his senses, when something finally clicked him alongside the head and said, Hey, wake up. When he finally came to his senses, he said, How many of my father's hired hands have food to spare? And here I am starving to death.

I will set out and go back to my father and say to him, Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like you, one of your hired servants. And so he got up and went to his father. While he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him.

He ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. Then the son said to him, Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. I want to stop there before we read the rest of this. I was saying that the entire six months that I didn't know if I believed in God.

Like, God, even if you are real, there's no... A way you still love me. I'm not worthy of this love that you're you're telling me I have. But the father said to his servants, quick, bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandal on his feet.

Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead, was dead, and is alive again. He was lost and is now found. So they began to celebrate.

I want to look in this parable. There are three gifts and a fattened calf. I think these are really, really important for us to look at. The fattened calf, as it says, is symbolic for celebration. He brought a fattened calf for celebration.

And then the first gift that we see given to the son is a robe, which represents salvation. Isaiah 61 10 says, for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation. He has covered me with the robe of righteousness. And we're going to skip the second gift for a second and come to the third gift, which is sandals for his feet. I think this is interesting because when it says he sold himself out to a citizen of the land, usually the first thing that would have happened was the sandals that he was wearing would have been taken away so that he couldn't run.

And I think it's interesting that the first thing has, or I guess the third thing rather, that his dad gives him is sandals after he ran. I think it's interesting that the sandals were taken from him as a preventative treatment from running away, were then given back to him by the one he ultimately ran from. And like I said, I'm not skipping the second gift. I just wanted to spend a little bit more time focusing a little bit more in depth on this gift because that the third or the second gift, sorry, was a ring. The ring is a symbol for identity.

Oftentimes these rings would have a signet on them to allow people to know the identity of the owner. Similarly, when we come to Christ, we receive an identity. We are no longer children of flesh and blood, but children of God through the gift of the Holy Spirit that connects us to him. So before we touch on the identity piece completely, I want to kind of return back to the story. Sunday, he's preaching out of Luke 15, talking about the prodigal son.

And the moment that the son is home is the same moment that he's in his father's arms. The moment that the son is home is the moment that he's in his father's arms. So I take a look at that, and I ask myself, seriously, am I in the Father's arms? And I had to honestly say, no, I'm not in the Father's arms. But it's not because He's ignoring me, it's not because He's silent, it's because frankly, I didn't care enough.

And how I knew this was Monday night, my last night in Jacksonville, Celebration Church is doing a, it's called School of the Holy Spirit. They give you a 45-minute teaching on the Holy Spirit, then there's a little bit of demonstration. And after the 45 minutes of teaching, He calls up different groups of people, and people are getting prayed over, people are speaking in tongues, it's a really, it's a beautiful moment where heaven was just in that room. Then there's one final group that He calls up. He says, there's four or five people in this room that struggle to know if Jesus loves them, if He even exists.

It's exactly where I had been the last six months. So knowing that the Holy Spirit is now moving in me, I feel my stomach clench up and nod up, and my heart starts pounding super fast. But my head, my brain, my mind, there's this still, peaceful voice. And every single time up until this point has been, Drew, come home. This time it was tender, it was soft.

I said, Drew, please come home. And I ignored it. Four people went up of the four or five. I chose the or. And it was in that moment that I realized it didn't matter if God stood right in front of me.

Until I figured out where my identity was, it wasn't going to matter. The craziest part about this entire night is the very, very, very first thing that Pastor Tim said that night was the only one that can block you from receiving the Holy Spirit is you. He warned me before I made the decision to neglect the Holy Spirit. Now that goes same for me as it does for you. The only person, the only thing that is blocking you from receiving the Holy Spirit in your life is you.

Now you might be thinking, just like I was thinking, I'm praying. I'm reading my Bible. And I will tell you, there is nothing in this world that is more frustrating than when you're struggling. At least for me. And somebody says, well, have you prayed about it?

Have you read your Bible? This is what got me to where I am now. Yes, I've prayed about it. But my focus wasn't where I thought it was. I thought my focus was on Jesus, but it wasn't on Jesus at all.

So the first thing we got to do is shift our identity with the son. The two sons in this story on Luke, they really both struggled with the same thing. That thing was pride. Because later on in the story in Luke, the older son, he gets upset and he goes to his dad and he's like, he left you. He took your, you know, his inheritance and he pretty much kicked in your face and left.

Why is he getting this? Why don't I get this? I've been here working and doing all these things for you. Because you didn't need it. You never left it.

You always had it. He said, pretty much he says to this older son, you've always had it. He didn't realize what he had until he didn't have it anymore. Talking about the younger son. So when he came back and realized that home was in his father's arms, that same thing is true for us.

Our home. Miss Tammy said it to me right before the service. Your home is in the arms of the father. So how do we get there? Shift your focus.

We got faith. We got focus. We got identity. We're talking about faith through identity and through our focus. We're going to look at Matthew 14, 22 to 33.

We're going to read all the way through and then we'll break it down a little bit. This is one of my favorite stories. Every time I read it, I get something new out of it. I'm pretty sure I preached on it when I preached last August. And just since then, I got something completely different out of it.

So hopefully, prayerfully, through the Spirit, you guys will see a little bit more than even what I'm seeing, even what Pastor Leon is seeing. I'm praying the Holy Spirit is allowing you guys' hearts and you guys' minds and you guys' eyes to be opened. So Matthew 14, 22 through 33. Immediately, Jesus made his disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side while he sent the multitudes away. And when he had sent the multitudes away, he went up on a mountain by himself to pray.

Now, when evening came, he was alone there. But the boat was next week. Now in the middle of the sea, tossed by the waves, for the wind was contrary. Now in the fourth watch of the night, Jesus went to them walking on the sea. And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, it is a ghost.

They cried out in fear, but immediately, we're going to stop here for a second. Immediately, Jesus said to them, take courage in his eye, don't be afraid. He didn't wait. He didn't, like, creep up closer before, be like, hey guys, just joking around, it's me. He immediately comforted them where they were.

They were scared. They're in the middle of a boat, in the middle of a sea, in the middle of a storm. And Jesus' first reaction to seeing them is, take courage. Don't be scared. It's me.

It's Jesus. I'm here. And I love what happens next. It's just Peter's boldness, the faith that Peter has in this moment. And he said, Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.

So Jesus said, come. I think it's important to stop at this piece right here, where Jesus just says, come. Because he doesn't say, Peter, come. He just says, come. So I believe that was an open invitation for any of the twelve that are sitting there in the boat to take that step.

But Peter was the one that did it, because Peter was full of belief that he could do it if Jesus called him to it. And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. When he saw the wind, he was afraid and began to sink, crying out, Lord, save me. He begins to sink. I don't know if you guys have ever gone swimming.

You don't begin to sink. You're either floating and swimming or you're not. There is no in between. So what does it mean he's beginning to sink? What if instead of looking at this as water, we look at it as truth?

He's walking on truth to Jesus. But then he notices, hey, this over here, this area of my life over here. And now I'm walking away from it, beginning to sink because my eyes aren't on Jesus anymore. My focus isn't on Jesus anymore. And he cries out, Lord, save me.

And immediately, Jesus, immediately, Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. You of little faith, he said. Why did you doubt? Oh, you of little faith. Why did you doubt?

I'm sure Peter's sitting there like, what do you mean, me of little faith? And then I promise you, you can't make the rules of faith. But also if you heard that, Lord, I will take you to sit there in a deep moment. I just walked out of water! No, you didn't.

You just did what Jesus allowed you to do. Peter just did what Jesus allowed him to do, what Jesus called him to do, what Jesus gave him the strength and the ability to do. You of little faith, he said, why did you doubt? If you want to write anything down, write down, confront your doubts. Was there any good reason for your doubt?

Was there any good excuse for it? Did anything come from it? I love that once Jesus rescued Peter, he spoke to Peter immediately about his little faith. This little faith led to the doubt and distraction that made Peter sink under the wind and the waves. It wasn't the wind and the waves that made Peter sink.

It was his doubt. It wasn't the violence of the wind nor the raging waves, but it was his lack of faith. Doubt is literally to be divided in two. True faith is single-mindedly focused on Jesus. I have this theory that may not be popular, but I have this theory.

Believers, the enemy is not your problem. You're giving him too much credit. Your focus is your problem. Just like Peter, once he took his eyes off of Jesus, he began to sink. It wasn't the wind and the waves.

It wasn't the enemy around him. It was his own lack of focus. Faith requires focus. Much more, your faith requires your focus. When it comes to our focus and our identity, we have two choices and only two choices.

You can choose resurrection life, choosing Jesus, or you can choose the fall. You can choose death. There's nothing in between. If you are not actively choosing Jesus, you are passively choosing death. Faith is an interesting word in English because we have faith.

We have faithful and we have full of faith. Those two are not the same, but they're the same word. It's still faith. In Greek, faithful does not mean full of belief. If I say powerful, you assume it's full of power, right?

If I say, I don't know, vengeful, you assume it's full of vengeance. In Greek, faithful does not mean full of vengeance. In Greek, faithful does not mean full of vengeance. But if I say faithful, it's not full of faith. Faithful is loyalty.

Full of faith is full of belief. Here's a little bit of a controversial opinion. It is way easier to walk to Jesus, like Peter, walking to Jesus, than it is to walk with Jesus. Because one just requires belief. The other requires action.

Peter walked to Jesus full of faith that Jesus was going to make the water underneath him solid enough for him to walk. But the second he noticed this thing going on over here, the second his action was taken away, his loyalty was taken away from Jesus, he began to sink. So your challenge this morning is find your identity in Christ, in resurrection. But don't just find it there. Actively choose resurrection life.

Because again, if you are not actively choosing life, if you are not actively choosing Jesus, what's the other option? Your other option is death. And that is why, when it all comes down to it, this morning has to be my last Sunday. Because if I'm not choosing Jesus, and choosing to run back to the arms of the Father, then I'm choosing death. And that's just not going to affect me.

That's going to affect you. So I have to stop. Take a step back. All right. I want to actively choose resurrection life.

I want to actively choose Jesus. Because for the last six months, for the last ten years with my mental health, I have been passively choosing death. By thinking I'm surrendering things, by assuming I know what I believe, I'll tell you, since I came to this revelation about eight weeks ago, when I started to actively place my faith, when I started to actively choose Jesus, I haven't had a bad mental health day. This is coming from the guy who couldn't wake up a day for almost ten years without some sort of negative thought as my first of... My brain chemistry should not allow my first thoughts to be, thank you for letting me wake up, Jesus.

But when you are active in choosing Jesus, it's not just a one-and-done thing. Die to yourself every day and take up your cross. I'll say it's more frequent than every day. You have every moment to choose Jesus or to choose death. And when you put it that way, why not choose Jesus?

We can believe, we can believe like Peter taking the step out on the water. I can only imagine him sitting on the edge of the boat like, what the heck am I about to do? Like, I think Peter was a homie. Like, honestly, I think he was super down to earth. Like, he was a very relatable guy.

I would be sitting on the edge of the boat like, is this about to happen? But then he looked at Jesus. It didn't matter what was going on around him. It didn't matter that there was a storm happening. Because he saw his savior and he wanted to take those steps towards his savior.

He wanted to take those steps towards his king. Towards his friend. Because he knew if he took the first step, he could take the next step if he was focused on Jesus. But like we see, the second he takes his focus away and starts to notice and give attention to the storm, the wind, the waves, he began to sink. So stop for just a minute.

I want us to, just for a moment, what are the wind and the waves in your life? Maybe it's like me and it was, is mental health. Maybe it's financial health. Maybe it's, I, whatever it may be. What are the wind and waves for you?

Can you take your focus off of them? I think so often we think about surrender. We think about sacrifice. We think about obedience. And it's always, what thing can I give up?

What, what thing is taking my attention away from Jesus? Maybe it's not a thing. Maybe it's your control. We all have control issues. Whether we want to admit it or not, we have control issues.

And if you don't want to admit it, maybe your control issue is just a little bit worse. Joking. But seriously, what if we just take a step back, release control, stop worrying about the wind and the waves, trust that the next step, the water is going to be solid. Not because of anything that you're doing, not because of your faith, not because of your belief, but because of your loyalty to Jesus. You can believe all you want.

I thought I believed. And for six months, I didn't know if I did. But I stopped. I shut up, I sit down, and I listened. Sometimes you just got to shut up and sit down and figure out what God is trying to say.

But if you're too busy focused on the wind and the waves, you don't know His voice because you're not focused on it. Jesus, we love you. Jesus, thank you for who you are. Not only the things that you've done. Jesus, simply for who you are.

God, thank you that you give us the ability to walk out on the water. God, thank you that you are there with us, reaching out your hand, waiting for us to accept it when we get sidetracked by the wind and the waves. God, thank you that home is where you are. And all that that takes is a shift in our identity, a shift in our focus. Jesus, not worrying about what I deserve or what I don't deserve, Jesus.

Just focusing on what you've already given and loving you as our Savior, loving you as our King. Jesus, thank you for the example that you gave us through Peter. God, help us to become as bold as Peter in our faith. Help us to take that step out onto the water. Help us to actively choose you so that we don't accidentally, passively choose death.

Jesus, we lay these things at your feet humbly and confidently. It's in your name that we pray. Amen. If y'all want to just remain over there for a second, I want to just offer, we can't end this service. There's somebody in here struggling with their faith right now, just as Andrew was.

And just as the pastor in Florida said, there's four, possibly five people. Maybe that four, maybe that or five, maybe you're on the or side of it, and that's where you are. We don't need music, we don't need anything. The Lord has spoken to you today, and He said, it's time to come home. It's time to come home.

Maybe you've never been home before. Maybe this is your first time even knowing that there is possibly a God that loves you. And I cannot tell you today, He's calling you home today. If you would close your head, bow your head, close your eyes, and just, I want you from the bottom of your heart, Lord, just say this with me, pray this with me. If it's in your heart, if it's out loud, just pray it.

Father, I'm ready to come home. I'm ready to give my life to you, Lord. Today, I receive you as my Lord and Savior. I don't want to just have faith in faith itself. I want to have faith in a person named Jesus.

So I give my life to you, I walk with you, and I don't just walk to you, I walk with you. I walk with you. Come into my heart, come into my life, and make me yours. I ask this in your name. Amen.