Hope for Hurting Parents

So we are in a series called Our Imperfect Family. Now let me just tell you, Salt Church is an imperfect family. We are imperfect. There's a lot of messed up people. And the world's full of messed up people.

In fact, let's just admit that, okay? If we really want to dig deep into us as individuals, I mean, just think about that for a minute. I'm thinking about me, the things that I do, the things that I say, the things that I think, the way I act. You can ask my wife, you know. It's a mess, okay?

She has to deal with a mess, okay? And we live in an imperfect world. And in an imperfect world is imperfect people. And with imperfect people are imperfect families. So you may think your family's crazy, but you're not alone, okay?

All of us have a little bit of crazy in our family. Some of us have a lot of crazy in our family. And this is a perfect series for you as we talk about our imperfect family. So if you've been following along with us for the last week, we have this theme scripture. We've been going by the Lord God said, It is not good for man to be alone.

I will make a helper suitable for him. Therefore, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife. So we see that scripture there. Beautiful scripture about becoming one in marriage. But that was, the context of that is it was the perfect environment for God to do what He does best.

To create a healthy, growing family. A healthy, growing family. But what happens? Sin came into the world, made it imperfect. We're very imperfect.

And that's where God comes in. He helps in. He's guiding us back to being what He created us to be from the beginning. So week one, we dealt with what a family is for. Why on earth are we even a family?

Why do we need a family? Why do you need a mom and a dad and brothers and sisters and cousins and aunts and uncles? What on earth is that for? Go back, listen to that message. We talk a lot about why God has a family in the first place.

Last week, we talked about why you need a spiritual family. Why you need a local family and why that is important to have a local family. Go back and listen to that if you missed last week. Lots of good stuff there of why we have a family. Next week, we're going to talk about kind of digging the kids piece a little bit.

And I'm going to go a place where, you know, usually we hear sermons about how to raise kids and how to make, how to have your kids behave and parenting and stuff like that. But for many of you here, your kids are wayward. Your kids may be astray. They are not going to church. Their fellowship with God and their life with God isn't where you want it to be.

So I want to talk about hope for hurting parents next week. I think that would be a pivotal message, a powerful message for those who are going through that. And hopefully, I can bring you some encouragement during that time. And then we've got a list of other things coming. But today, I want to share with you how to affair.

Proof your marriage. To a fair proof your marriage. I get one hand clap there because a lot of you are like, what in the world are you talking about infidelity today? Couldn't you talk about anything else in marriage? And if you've gone back to any of my old sermon series, my old sermons, or any time in the life of Salt Church, even before Salt Church, I've taught a lot of material on family, and marriage, and things like that, and I talk about a lot of things.

I talk about, you know, how to communicate, harmony, needs, fighting fair, all those things are a part of being a healthy family, and a healthy marriage, and creating that. But statistics of infidelity are very staggering when I look at it and I dig into it. The National Library of Medicine tells us the top 11 reasons for divorce, among them, number two in that category of many reasons why people divorce, 59.6% were a part of infidelity and extramarital affairs. 59.

6% were a part of the reason for divorce, among many things that may have caused divorce. Meaning it was labeled among, like, if there was two or three things that somebody labeled, one of those would have been that. That's six out of ten people in this study. That said, infidelity is a real issue in marriage, causing divorce. And we live in a military city as well, so let me just say, statistics go up.

There's something about the devil's after the military, and praise God you're here. If you're in the military, we celebrate you. We thank you for honoring our country. And we're here for you. We're here for you.

We're here for you. If you're here for two months, if you're here for six months, we have people come in and out all the time. Two months, six months, a year, four years, whatever. If you're here, we're here to serve you and help you grow, and we hope that you'll carry it. If you want to stay here your lifetime, we hope to be your home church.

But if you're carrying it on, we hope that you can take the gospel elsewhere. But we know how hard it is for you in family situations, especially those of you who are out to sea, and you're deployed, and all these things are happening. And your kids, and your wife, and your husband, how to navigate that is very, very, very difficult. And as a result, we see infidelity really, really high in the military. So, Hebrews 13.

4 says, marriage should be honored by all. Not some, by all, by everybody. And husbands and wife must be faithful to each other. God will, and this is the hard part of this, okay? He wants to be honored.

He loves marriage. But God will judge those who are immoral. What? He's going to judge me because I'm immoral? Yes, He will.

That's what the Bible says. And those who commit adultery. So, He... He takes it very serious. Why does God make such a big deal about sexual sin in general?

Why does he make a big deal about that? Because the consequences are devastating. You can do a little white lie, and in God's eyes, that's just as bad as infidelity. In his eyes, in heaven, in a relationship with him, because all sin in God's eyes is not good. But he is really concerned about this because it doesn't just affect you.

It affects everybody around you. It not only affects your wife or your husband. It affects your kids. It affects your grandkids. It's a generational curse that you can place in your family that will carry on and on and on and on until it's broken.

And some of you are dealing with that today. In fact, I looked at some studies with kids. Infidelity in families causes this with kids. Emotional trauma is a big thing. Emotional trauma.

Trust issues. They have trust issues. Trust issues not only with the broader perspective of people, but trust issues with their parents. They can't rely on them. Behavioral problems.

Not able to cope with the stress of parents. Struggles to express their emotions. Academic struggles take place. Did you know that? Because of the problems in the household, the stress that they bring from home, it's hard for them to focus.

And the relationship problems that they have such as long-term relationships at a young age and even into their adulthood is hard because of the lack of trust and self-esteem issues. They blame themselves for what their parents have done. They blame themselves. Is it my fault? Did my dad or did my mom decide not to be faithful because of me?

Am I the problem? Or health problems. Just physical health problems are a result of this, believe it or not. Anxiety, stress, depression, weakened immune systems. All these things in these studies show that these don't just affect the people that are involved in infidelity.

It affects the whole family. That's why we need to talk about it because we want godly families. And we are so imperfect. Let's look at this and figure out. So I want to talk about the problem, the process, and the preventative steps or preventative measures.

So the problem is this. The problem is there's a lot of problems. I mean, when we look at it, when we look at why we do this and the problem. But here's why it's so important to talk about this because adultery is a trap according to Proverbs 22, 14. It's a trap laid out by the enemy.

And what do you know about a trap? You don't know it's there. You walk into it. When you lay out a trap, the animal is not supposed to know that the trap was there. If you know the trap is there, which the Bible is telling us, then you have ways to avoid it.

But it is a trap. But Matthew 26, 41 says, keep watch and pray so that you don't fall into temptation. So that you don't fall into the trap. Because the trap is the problem. But ultimately he does not fall into temptation.

They goes to temptation, in temptation, while we need to wrestle, and fear. It does not matter how long that you are a Christian, but it does not matter how long your Christian, it that whoever can has a foe for rail drie blocks over the room. Here's a big problem. A lot of people say, well, I've been a Christian for a long time. I've been married for a long time, and this can't possibly happen with me.

The temptation can't possibly happen with me. That's when you have to be more worried about it. We need all the more to be concerned about it when we start thinking that we're okay and that things aren't going to happen with us. Because affairs are caused by so many different things, unmet needs, unfulfilled expectations. We all have those things, right?

Undeveloped self-esteem, maybe jealousy, and maybe stuff from your childhood, unresolved conflicts that take place, uncontrolled thoughts, unprotected lifestyles, unreliable commitments. All these things kind of play into the problem. It's a problem. But the process, let's talk about the process for a minute. So nobody actually wakes up one morning and says, I'm going to go have an affair today.

Nobody says, I want to ruin my marriage with an affair. Nobody has a wedding date planned. They have the wedding, and then they have an affair date planned. Like, okay, about six, seven, ten, twenty years into my marriage, this is what's going on. Nobody does that.

Nobody says that. It's a progressive process, and it's a trap. So we need to be aware of it. So what is that process? What is the process?

James 1, 14 and 15 kind of gives us some insight into how sin progresses. But each person is tempted. By the way, this is for anybody here. Whether you're married, whether you're not married, whether you're single, whether you're dealing with sexual immorality, whether you're not dealing with sexual immorality, you're dealing with any kind of immorality or any kind of sin, this is for you. This is for you today.

And those of you that are single, this will prepare you along the way. So don't think that this is just, don't just say, okay, this is not for me. I'm done, and I'm going to talk about a few of those things in a minute. But this scripture is for everybody, but each person is tempted when he or she is lured and enticed by his own desire. Now, desires ending of themselves are not bad.

We have desires. God places desires. Being attracted to the opposite sex ending of itself is not bad. God placed that in us. That's how we form relationships.

That's how families start. That's how marriage comes about. But it's when those desires are conceived. Look what it says, then desire, when desire, and specifically in this scripture, it's talking about a temptation. Now, let me say this.

Temptations can happen, and they will happen, and they do happen often. But temptation itself, you can't avoid temptation. Temptation is not a sin. And temptation is what happens when you have that thought or that idea come into your head. But what you do with it is what determines where it goes.

And then it says this in verse 15, Then desire, when it is conceived, gives birth to sin, and sin, when it is fully grown, what does it do? Become death. It can be a death sentence for you if it's not stopped before it gets to that level. So let me give you a quick process here. Step one, you're susceptible.

So first of all, admit that you're... You're susceptible to fall. That temptation will come. It absolutely will. It starts in your head long before the bed.

And these thoughts happen, but you can't stop thinking about things. Think about this. When I tell you, don't think about a blue car. Don't think about a blue car. Don't think about a blue car.

What are you doing? Everybody's like, I'm trying not to, I'm trying not to. Oh, the car is there. The blue car is there. It's hard to not think about things.

And you're not going to be able to just stop thinking, so you refocus your thinking. When those thoughts come in, it's about refocusing your thinking. And this, number one, this first step is the easiest place to stop the process. So if we can identify it right when it happens, we can take care of it. But step two is when it becomes emotional.

It becomes emotional. There's a lot of emotional affairs that begin to take place in the office and in other situations. And there's this lie that says, well, if there's no touching, then it must not be an affair. It must not be, you know, if there's no physical things going on. And what happens in the office and the workplace and in the community and with friends and stuff, there's limits there.

Phishing, people are fishing. If you notice flattering or flirting, you know, those are things that you have to notice. Wait, wait, wait. Is this going too far? And just because you are not touching doesn't mean there's not energy there.

That things are happening there that you can't see. And then step three, it becomes physical. And the chances of not hurting someone at this point in the process, the people you love specifically are very high. And then there's step four where we rationalize. We rationalize the reason I'm just, I'm only human.

I'm a sinner. How many of you have heard that when somebody makes a mistake? Oh, well, you know, I'm just a sinner. I'm trying. I'm trying.

Are you really? Or God will forgive me. God will forgive us. God, yes, God does forgive our sin. Praise God for that.

Amen. But God forgives those who repent. You know what repent means? It means to turn away from, to exit away from that very thing that you're in. And for so many people, they use the name of God to defend their sin.

They abuse the name of God. Don't presume that God is a fool. God knows exactly what's going on. When you use the excuse that God will forgive me to willfully be ongoing with your sin. Let's just speak truth here today.

And many people do that. Cheap grace is what I call it. We think that we can just go on sinning and catch some more grace and catch some more grace. We call it cheap grace. We call it cheap grace.

Amen. تى magari realm of faith and catch some more grace. It draws us to repentance. That's what the Scripture says. To turn from what we once were and to Jesus become more like Him.

That's why 1 Peter 5.8 says, Be alert and sober mind. Your enemy, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking he may devour. Be alert. Be aware that it's there.

Psalm 119 says, I have considered my way. I've looked at myself. I know that I have done wrong. And I have turned my steps toward your statutes. So that's what we do.

We look and we consider where we are. Today, that's the first step. Consider where you are. And turn towards His statutes. Are you ready to turn towards His statutes?

Whatever you're in. Maybe it's not infidelity. Maybe it's something completely different. Maybe it's something ethical or shady that's going on in your life. Or some decision that you have to make that you're just not sure if it's a God decision.

Maybe that's something you need to think about. Am I willing to consider my ways? Consider that I am. I don't trust myself. So how do we do that?

How do we turn and put... We need to put preventative steps together. Let's talk about the preventative for a minute. Preventative. I want to give you five preventative steps to make your marriage safe.

That will not allow any infidelity to come into it. The first one is make a commitment to God's standards of morality. The absolute truth of God's standards of morality. Psalm 119 says, How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word.

Yeah, there you go. Yeah, you're smart people, right? The word of God. Yeah, so you don't have to be scared to say the word. The word is good, okay?

The word is life-giving. Let's just say it. The word of God. Regardless of my past, here's what you want to do. You pre-decide that you're going to line up with the word of God.

That you're going to follow God. That you're lining up with God's word. Regardless, if you're single, pre-decide that I want a great marriage one day, so I'm deciding to take and put boundaries and barriers in my life to honor God's word, to honor God's law, that I'm going to live pure, because I want the best marriage possible for my future. So what is God's standard? Look at Song of Solomon 8.

1. Close your heart to every love but mine. Hold no one in your arms but me. So it's one man, one woman, together for life. That's God's will.

No other man, no other woman, but the one you're called. The one that God has put you with. And the one, frankly, that you chose. Through the sovereignty of God. The second thing we need to do is Maintain.

Maintain your marriage. Maintain your marriage. Now, how do we do that? Well, I think this is a very interesting scripture, and this speaks to physical intimacy. It says, do not deny yourself to each other unless you first agree to do so for a while in order to spend some time in prayer.

But then resume normal marital relations. Resume sexual relations with each other. This is important. This is an important part of being married. This is an important part of being together.

And my wife is like, amen, hallelujah. And in this way, you will keep from giving in to Satan's temptations, right? We need to be...sexual relationships are a spiritual responsibility for both sides of the house. Not just one side, okay?

Both sides. And sexual relationships are there. There are many needs that can be fulfilled in marriage, outside of marriage, and all over the place. But when you got married, you made an exclusive contract between you and your spouse, and that this is one area in your life that only that one person will meet. That for the rest of my life, this is the one area that they're going to meet my need in.

And you have to ask, and you have to talk about these things, okay? I know some of you grew up in uber conservative fundamental churches that, like, we don't talk about sex in church. We don't talk about, you know, intimacy and things like that. That's kind of a scary topic. And then you brought it into your marriage.

And I know me growing up in church and others, I feel that. You know, sometimes you're, shh, don't talk the S word. Don't say it, you know? And then you bring it into your relationship where you should be talking about it, right? And you need to ask questions.

Is there anything that I need to do for you that I'm not doing? Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's there. And is there anything you need me to stop doing, okay? Have honest conversations about those things.

Because here's the deal. Love is subjective to your will. To you deciding to love. Love is a choice, not a feeling. Love is a choice you have to make every day.

You will, you can say all day long, I'll fall, you can fall out of love. Yes, you can fall out of love. Because you choose not to love. You choose not to work on it. Feelings always follow actions.

You need to make the action every day to love. It will be a fountain of blessing for you. And when you make the decision, the feelings come. The feelings come when you first make the decision to love. To love that person.

To love your spouse. And there's this myth out there also. Here's the, I'm going to just lay this down. There's this myth out there that only men have the sexual relations problem with their wife. You would be surprised how many women have the same problem with their husband not giving them what they need physically.

There's this myth. Right? it's Just as much there, they aren't being fulfilled sexually. Look at what Proverbs 5.15 says in verse 18, Drink water from your own well.

It's a little racy there, right? Yeah, yeah. Share your love only with your wife. Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the life of your youth.

Rejoice in your relationships. Enjoy your relationships and stop comparing. Because there's this myth out there that there's a better one out there. Or there's one, the one. There's the one.

A lot of people ask the question, do you believe that there's the one? That one person? And for many, it's like, man, I married this person, but I missed out on the one. But the logic behind this, it's just a logical fallacy anyway, right? So the logic behind that is, is if that person is not, if that person didn't marry the right person, because you didn't marry the right person, then that other person didn't marry the right person, it just keeps going down the line.

Nobody married the right person. All of you can say, nobody married the right person. We're all messed up. So, you know, our marriages are all like here and there. They're good and bad and ugly and in between and all that.

So I guess nobody really married the right person. So logically, that's just incorrect. In fact, you find the person, number one, if you're a believer, you find those who are Christians that share your values, that share your beliefs and share your love for God and your love for living for God and have a great marriage. You just make a choice to have a great marriage, no matter how hard it gets, because no marriage is a perfect 10. Thirdly, manage your mind.

We've got to manage our minds. Again, going back, it starts with a thought. It starts with a temptation. And I bet if we could take all the thoughts you had in the last 24 hours and broadcast them up on this screen for everybody to see, I think a lot of people would be uncomfortable. Some a little uncomfortable, some extremely uncomfortable.

Because the truth is, we have all kinds of thoughts that come in. Temptations come. Evil thoughts come in. They do. Have you ever had a time where you were praying or you were worshiping in church and just this evil thought comes in and you're like, oh my gosh, what's going on?

Like, how did that, I'm praying to God and it just came, where did it come from? It came from Satan. It came straight from hell. That's the point, to try to distract you from what God wants you to be. And who He wants you to be in the purpose of your marriage.

That's why 2 Timothy 2.22 says, so flee. Turn your back is another way of saying it. Turn your back on. Flee youthful passions or lustful desires.

Other versions say that. And pursue righteousness and faith and love and peace along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. So the key to overcoming temptation is not to resist it, because you can't resist it. It's just going to happen. You can pray all day long, just like that blue car I told you not to think about.

You thought about it. You're thinking about it right now, because you can't. You can't resist temptation. Temptation is going to come. It's going to happen.

Thoughts are going to be implanted. As long as we live in these sinful bodies, in this flesh, we're going to have issues with temptation. But it's about replacing it. It's not about resisting. It's about replacing with thoughts.

Finishing it with good thoughts, with holy thoughts, with peaceful thoughts, with faith, with love. Refocus. Refocus what you think. If it comes in, begin to refocus right away. Change that channel, because you're not supposed to be there anyway, right?

Get away from the social media. Close the computer. Get off your phone. Play with your kids. Go and hang out with your kids and enjoy them.

Read a book. Turn to something peaceful. Do something good for somebody. Replace it. It's not about resisting it and trying to stay away from it.

As I told you last week, there's not a lot of monks in the world anywhere, because, you know, being by yourself really doesn't work. You've got to be around other people, right? You've got to be in a church family. And getting away from sin, resisting sin, like getting away from everybody. You're still going to sin, even if you're in a room by yourself.

But replacing the thoughts. Refocusing. 2 Timothy 4-5 says, keep your head in all situations. Every situation, keep your head. Keep your head in the game.

And monitor your media intake. Let me just talk about that for a few seconds, you know. Monitor this media intake. These movies, the television, the social media, the phones, and all the little things you're looking at. You can't watch and listen to certain things anymore.

Garbage in, garbage out, as mom and dad used to say when we were little, right? It's so true. You know, we get the garbage in us and we become the garbage. What are we filtering through our media? And I am constantly surprised when I hear people I think are just godly people and spiritual people and just living righteously.

And they tell me what they're watching. And I'm like, whoa, what's going on here? I mean, oh, you know, this is unbelievable. Do you watch the last Game of Thrones? You know, it's pornography.

It's just really what it is. I mean, and I'm just shocked. Like, guys, what are you putting in your heads? Oh, I'm a believer. But garbage in, garbage out.

You start thinking that way. You've got to focus your thoughts. Look what Psalm 101 says, verse 3, I will not look with approval on anything that is vile. I'm not going to look at things. I'm not going to be connected with those things.

I'm continually surprised by what people are involved in. Now, advertising is all around us, guys, like sex sales, right? I mean, it does. It always has. I have a marketing degree.

And that's what we talked about in college. How do you get the lust into advertising so people can't get away from it? It is a real thing. And you can't avoid it. You can't avoid the advertising.

You can't avoid the signs. You can't avoid the commercials. But you can control your thoughts. You can manage your thoughts and filter your thoughts. Romans 16, 19, I want you to be wise about what is good and innocent about what is evil.

I love that verse, like, wise about what is good. I need to know, like, more about how to be right and how to be good. And you know what? I just want to be ignorant when it comes to evil. I think that's the best.

I want to just get away from it, you know? I mean, I just want to be shallow about what is evil because I'm so focused on what's good and holy and righteous. That's what that's saying there. Number four, minimize the opportunity to be tempted. So how do we do that?

1 Corinthians 10, 12 says, So if you think you're standing firm, be careful that you don't fall, right? So if you think you're pretty good, if you're in a good place, if you're minimizing, you know, if you're... I'm living... Have you ever had those times? Or maybe your spouse had those times, I'm doing pretty good.

And you're like, no, you're not doing good. Ask your spouse and they'll let you know, right? Whether you're doing good or not. Are you doing good? You know, we're never too good.

We're always vulnerable to temptations. We're always vulnerable to evil. And if you think you're doing good, hold on. And if you are doing really good, hold on. It's coming.

And you're just as vulnerable as you were before. So what do we do? What do we do? Set up boundaries. Yeah, pray.

I like that. Somebody answer that for me. Pray. Pray, yeah. And we'll have a scripture for that a little later.

Put up boundaries. Put up boundaries. Why do people not put up boundaries to these relationships? Singles, put up boundaries. Where are you?

Don't be alone with... If you don't want to get into a place, there's energy when two people are in a room. Come on. When two people are the opposite sex, it just happens, okay? Put up boundaries.

Put up barriers. Married people who fly on business trips. A lot of affairs happen. Business trip. Flying along.

Dining along. Be aware ahead of time that these temptations are going to come. They are. They will. They are.

One person said what they do is when they're off on a business trip, they put pictures of their family around their room. So they're reminded constantly that I have a great family. I have a loving family. God has blessed me with a family. Or call your family, you know, when you're away or make sure that you check in with them.

Have your kids or spouse travel with you if possible. That's a great way to do it. Just keeping your family in front of you so that you don't allow that to come in. or do you think you think you're a better runt. Thinking about your family.

And those who surround yourself with. Who are you working with? Who are you playing with? Who are you hanging out with? That's so important.

Y'all know this, bad company corrupts good character. 1 Corinthians 15-33, that's actually in the Bible, okay? Some of you don't even know that, you use it all the time. Bad company corrupts good character, that's exactly where it comes from. And if you're hanging out with people that don't represent your values, that approve of immorality and adultery and dirty jokes, get yourself away from those people.

Get yourself surrounded by some people. If you've got some people at your work that love their families and are godly people, be with them more than those other people. Separate yourself from that because temptation will come in. And they're not your friends anyway. You may think they're your friends, but they're not your friends if they continue to do that.

It disrespects you, it disrespects your family, it disrespects your values. And maintain the proper relationship with the opposite sex. This is very, very important. Okay? You're going to have to work with the opposite sex.

You're going to have to be around the opposite sex. We're not going to be able to avoid each other, okay? And the three greatest areas that people commit infidelity is people they work with, people who are married that have a couple that are married and they hang out a lot, and relatives of spouses. Those are the three top areas. Those are people that you're around.

So don't send mixed messages. Don't get involved in looks and stares and jokes and flirtiness. Just don't do it. Don't allow it. If that makes you boring, that's fine.

Your marriage is much more important than how fun and entertaining you are, okay? Alright? If you're a really fun and entertaining person, you can do it in a healthy way, okay? If that's who you are. You don't have to be that way.

You don't have to be that. Hang around people who are dedicated to their spouses, who love their families, and diffuse electric situations. I like that point. Diffuse electric situations. Like, if things are getting, you know, uncomfortably, you know, just energy's there, avoid it.

Avoid prolonged stares, lingering touch, inappropriate touch, and all that. Be careful there. And here's another thing. Don't listen to complaints about spouses of the opposite sex, okay? If they start complaining, that's where affairs start at work and around, my husband or my wife, she doesn't treat me the way you do here, you know.

And it just goes on, and they just start complaining. You know what you do? You send them, you say, hey, if you need to talk about this, I'm not a personal counselor, okay? And even if I was a personal counselor, you need to go to another woman, or you need to go to a man of the same, you know, the same sex. You need to go talk to them.

Have a conversation with somebody else. Not with the opposite sex. We need to keep that. Don't meet with women and men unless someone else is around on your own. It's very important.

You know, Billy Graham never traveled alone. He never allowed a woman. To be in the same room with him, no matter how comfortable he was with the woman, he wouldn't allow, he wouldn't be alone in the same room and that man traveled all around the world, had men all around him, people to keep him accountable, people staying in his hotel rooms and around his hotel rooms, keep him accountable because he couldn't even trust himself. That's Billy Graham. It happens to pastors, it happens to leaders, it happens to people, it happens all the time.

It's there. That's why it says, you know, but among you there must not even be a hint of sexual immorality, improper dress and things like that. That's why we dress modestly. We don't want to cause any unnecessary energy or unnecessary lustful thoughts and things like that. That's why we as holy people, not because we're boring and strange or whatever, it's because we care about healthy marriages.

We care about healthy families. We care about being a healthy family. That's why we do what we do. And number five, maximize the consequences. Maximize the consequences.

What would this mean if I made this decision? Look what Proverbs 6.32 says. I love this. The man who commits adultery is an utter fool.

You're just stupid, okay? You're an idiot. You're a fool. The very thing that Jesus says not to call somebody, Proverbs says you're a fool if you commit adultery, for he destroys his own soul. He destroys his own soul.

Proverbs 6.26, adultery will cost a man all he has. It will. It will cost you everything. So when that situation comes into play, when something comes up and that thought starts coming into your mind about what you're going to do, the action you're going to take, I want you to play it out.

I want you to play it out in your head, the future of what that consequence could be. If I made this decision, how many people would be hurt in the process? For me, if I made that decision, I could play that out right now. Not only would I devastate my wife, and she would just be heartbroken. My kids would be affected.

They would not trust their dad, who they look to as Jesus, because I'm to be like Jesus. As they follow me, I follow Jesus. When they see me, they see Jesus. And when I don't represent Jesus well, they don't see Jesus well. And they don't see people well.

And they don't see trust well. They don't know how to trust people, as we talked about at the beginning. And what would that do to this ministry? Where would we be? The millions of people, even, I'd say millions, maybe I'm exaggerating, but the people, the pastors that I'm friends with, the other churches I've spoken in, the people that come to me and ask for spiritual advice, the committees I'm a part of, the board, the conference of churches that we're a part of, I'm a part of that board where I'm constantly mentoring.

In ministering to other pastors along with a group of men to help. If I did that, what would happen with those people? What would happen with those other ministries that we are a part of? The people that are affected, my church and everything, my ministry, my entire life. I play that out and I don't want any of that.

I don't desire that. 1 Thessalonians 4-3, this is God's will for you. Here's why God wants you to know this. He wants you to be holy and completely free, free from immorality. He wants you to be completely free.

So ask yourself, is it worth it? Is it worth it to be imprisoned? Because the grass is always greener and when we compare ourselves to others... Wow, that's a great marriage. I saw it on social media and it looked so perfect.

I mean, they were hanging off of cliffs with smiles on their faces. I want that, you know? And why don't I have that in my marriage and underneath it is an absolute disaster because they're just putting the filters on to make their lives feel better, too. Is it worth it? Hells, you know why the grass is green on the other side?

Some of you southern people know because there's manure on that side of the apple. Farmers and different ones. So the reason I don't do it is not just because I'm a Christian or I wear the title of Christian. It's because, number one, I love God. And God says not to do it and He wants the best for me and I love Him and I want to honor Him.

He's my Father. He saved me, rescued me. And I love my wife. And I don't want to do that in my life. I don't want to hurt her in any way.

My wife doesn't cry a whole lot, but when she cries, my heart breaks. She's a tough woman, but when she's really hurt, I feel it. And I don't want that. I love my kids. I don't want my kids to hurt.

And I fear God's judgment. I do fear God's judgment. Because He says, you will be judged according to your immoral acts. So, for those of you who may have committed this sin, or maybe you're in the act of it right now, let me just give you, you know, our God is so good. Our God is so good.

And there's forgiveness available to you. And there's repentance available to you. In fact, I want to give you three things. There's a pathway back to purity, okay? Real quick here.

And if we look at David and his infidelity with Bathsheba, we see that he first acknowledges the sin. So, first of all, we need to acknowledge the sin. Are you willing to acknowledge the sin? Here's what David said in Psalm 51, 1 and 4. He says, Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love.

Have mercy on me, God, according to your unfailing love. You're great. You're great. Compassion blots out my transgressions. He was sincere.

He didn't want this on his life. He says, wash away all my iniquities and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions and my sin is always before me. Against you, you only, I have sinned and done what is evil in your sight. That his unfailing love is available for us.

If you're there and you need forgiveness and you need to be rescued, just repent, just acknowledge, number one. Acknowledge that the sin is there. Number two, end it. End it. End it.

Stop it. Break the action. Just be done with it. Turn away from it. That's what repentance is.

When God calls us to repent, he says, just turn away from it. Turn to me. Acknowledge that you have a sin. Turn away from this sin and turn to me. There's no better time to do it than today.

There's no other time to do it than today in the relationship. Here's Hebrews 3.15. Now is the time. Now is the time today.

Today, if you hear God's voice speaking to you, and some of you probably are hearing God's voice right now speaking to you. And it doesn't have to be infidelity. It can be in any area of your life. Maybe God's speaking to you and saying today is the day. To this time right now is no better time that you hear the voice of the Lord.

Do not harden your heart against him. Don't harden your heart against God. God's unfailing love is available to you. He forgives us of all of our sin. There is no sin that you have committed that he cannot forgive.

Forgive. And then number three, avoid. Avoid that sin. Avoid that relationship. Get out of it now.

Delete the texts. Delete the phone calls. Delete the number. Never cut off everything you possibly can to keep that relationship from getting back in. For that seed to be planted back in.

That stirring that will come back in. All contact with that person. That's true of any sin that we have. We need to really, if we have problems with pornography, we need to do everything we can to eliminate that. You need to get away from, you need somebody on your computer at all times.

You need to open up your phone, your computer to your spouse. Let them see everything. All codes. All passwords. Everything.

Let it go. Get you some accountability partners. Whatever that looks like. Whatever sin. If you need accountability, get it.

Turn away from it. Get rid of the stuff that will pull you back in. Stop watching the movies. Stop listening to the music. Oh, it's not going to harm me.

And then you fall right back into the place you once were. The pit that you once got out of. And it's even worse when you fall back again. And God's asking you, you know, just avoid it. So, acknowledge, end.

Acknowledge and end. For some of you here today, I go back to that first step once again. That beautiful scripture where David falls to his knees and acknowledges. But he says it's your unfeeling love that washes away my sin. It's prophetically looking to the cross of Jesus Christ.

The cross, the blood of Christ, the love of Christ, the love of a father to turn his back on his only son because he cared so much for you, that he gave it all for you. The unfailing love that washes away your sin. Maybe that's you today. Maybe you need to make a recommitment to God. Maybe you've walked away from God or you stopped trusting God.

His unfailing love is still there available to you. His arms are wide open for you to come back into his arms. If that's you today, would you just make that commitment? Today is the day. Hear the voice of the Lord speak to your heart.

With all heads bowed and all eyes closed, if you would just submit to Jesus for a moment, submit to the Holy Spirit as you hear his voice speaking to your heart. Let him speak to you. If that's you today, you want to surrender to Jesus. You want to surrender it all today. Give your life to Jesus.

Rededicate your life to Jesus. Would you pray this with me? Father, I do acknowledge that I'm a sinner. I know I've done wrong and I'm guilty. And I feel that guilt inside of me.

I feel that guilt inside of me. But I know that you offer good news for me. That you said, Father, that through your Son, Jesus, I can have everlasting life. And I can be free of that guilt. The burden no longer has to be there.

God, I submit my life to you today. I trust your blood. I trust the cross. Come into my life. Holy Spirit, come in and live within me.

The Bible says he makes you a new creation. God, make me a new creation today. I want to be born again. I want to submit to you. I want to be saved.

I want to be baptized. I want to be a part of a family. Because I know that I can't do it on my own. And although my family is imperfect, and everybody is imperfect, Lord, I know there's perfection in you. And you have everything that I need to take this sin, take this guilt off of me.

I believe in you, Jesus. I trust in you today.